


The Marks of War

by Evilsforreals



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oral Sex, Self-Harm, Training
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-04 23:38:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1087023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evilsforreals/pseuds/Evilsforreals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The new Levi Squad begins training under Commander Levi, but the secrets of some of the soldiers are revealed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Training Days

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all, this fanfiction was made in honor of JeanConnie week! I took three of the prompts from the 17th-19th; Anxiety, Flying, and Blush. Hope you all enjoy it!

                Jean groggily wiped the sleep from his eyes and he forced himself into a sitting position on his cot. The sun was shining in from the dusty windows, bright and cheery; a stark contrast to Jean’s mood. It had been another late night full of advanced training with Levi and the rest of the squad. Jean stretched, and winced at a sudden sharp pain in his side. He gingerly pulled his shirt up to see a dark brown bruise forming on his side, another stark contrast against his pale skin. Jean groaned at the discovery; practice was going to be even worse for the next few days. Rubbing the last bit of sleep from his eyes, Jean looked around the room.

                In the corner was Armin, his usually impeccable hair was a disaster; clumps and tangles were everywhere, but the quiet boy was still oblivious in his dream. Next to him was Eren. He looked utterly exhausted. And for good reason. Levi had been forcing Eren to transform every single day to start plotting a formation to best compliment his abilities and provide him with adequate protection. While Eren never protested, it was clear that it was starting to take its toll on him. There were deep shadows under his eyes, and he was muttering in his sleep. And finally there was…where was Connie?

                Jean gazed sleepily at the sloppily made bed adjacent to his own. Connie was usually the one that fought tooth-and-nail to stay in bed for as long as possible. But his bed was empty, and he was nowhere to be seen. Jean slowly set his feet on the cold wooden floor, and stumbled over to inspect the bed. He frowned. Could this be a prank? He tentatively patted the bed, making sure that the smaller boy wasn’t hiding beneath the folds of the sheets. But no one was there. Jean stepped back, wondering where he was.

                As he pulled the sheets back to properly make the bed, he noticed something. A small crimson dot on the white sheet. Jean stared at it for a minute, and thanked the Wall that it wasn’t his bed. When Levi did inspection…Jean chuckled at the thought and carefully replaced the cover. Suppressing a yawn, he headed downstairs for breakfast.

                He could smell something cooking from the kitchen, and as he began to descend the stairs, bumped into Sasha. Her hair was unkempt, but her eyes were steely as she mumbled a half-hearted “morning” in Jean’s direction, as she tore down the stairs toward the aroma. Jean chuckled again, but the rumbling in his own stomach quickly quelled his laughter. He quickly followed behind the frantic soldier, knowing that he had to act fast to secure his breakfast.

                He entered the kitchen, to see Historia tending the stove, and doing her best to politely force Sasha back from the pot, and failing at it. Jean quickly sprung into action to save Historia, by nabbing a crust of bread from the counter from last night, and forcing it into Sasha’s reaching hands. Sasha grudgingly accepted the peace offering, and the two began to help set the table.

                “Did you all sleep well?” Historia asked, as she began to ladle hot soup into the bowls.

                Sasha tried to speak, but was still in the process of chewing, so all that came out was a muffled grunt as she pulled a fistful of knives from the drawer. Jean sighed heavily. “I feel that even when I sleep, I’m doing training exercises in my head. I should at least get a reprieve from training in my dreams!”

                Historia nodded sympathetically. “I know; Mikasa’s still in bed. How were the rest of the boys?”

                “Eh, they’re all passed out…except Connie.”

                Sasha brightened. “Oh, he’s up? Where is he?”

                Jean shook his head. “I dunno. I woke up, and his bed was made, but he wasn’t there.”

                Sasha looked confused, before Historia piped up. “Well Commander Levi is missing as well. His door was open when I passed it this morning, and he wasn’t in his room. Maybe they went to chop more firewood?”

                Jean snorted. “Doubtful. Mikasa already chopped enough for the rest of the year.”

                The rest of breakfast prep was completed in silence, each of the soldiers trying to come up with a reason why two members of the squad were mysteriously gone from their beds. Historia placed the last bowl on the table and wiped her brow. “Shall I go wake the others?”

                “Yeah, you can wake Mikasa, I’ll go wake the guys,” Jean said as he headed back towards the stairs. As he passed the window, a movement in the distance caught his attention.

                There, in full 3DMG gear, both Levi and Connie were making their way towards the house. Levi looked as calm and collected as always, idly polishing one of his swords with a cloth. Connie on the other hand looked like he had just been through a massacre. His uniform was ripped and muddy; cakes of filth covering the right side of his head. There were scrapes and bruises on his face from whipping through the forest, and it looked like one of his swords had shattered. But Connie had his signature grin plastered on his face despite the deep breaths he was taking, his cheeks flushed from exertion.

                As the two soldiers reached the door, Jean caught the end of their conversation. _“You’re coming along Springer. Your natural speed and reflexes are making this much easier to work with.”_

_“Thank you Commander.”_

_“Leave your gear and clothes out here, I won’t have you tracking filth into the house after it took so long to get it nice and clean. Take a shower, and meet us for breakfast.”_

_“Understood, Commander.”_

At that, the door opened, and Levi entered, softly wiping his boots on the doormat before stepping fully into the house. Connie lingered at the threshold, attempting to disengage the lock on his gear.

                Jean and Sasha quickly saluted the Commander, who dismissively saluted back, before sauntering towards his room. After he had disappeared down the hallway, the two of them stared at Connie, their curiosity piqued. “Where’ve you been?” Jean asked, his eyebrows rising.

                Connie grunted as he finally removed the heavy metal gear, and let it fall with a loud clatter to the ground. He swiped a hand across his face to catch a stream of sweat, and grinned broadly at the sight of them. “Hey guys! Commander Levi’s just been giving me some extra training.”

                Sasha’s eyes grew wide. “Whoah, private lessons with THE Commander? How’d you manage that?”

                Connie chuckled half-heartedly, but the laughter didn’t quite meet his eyes. “We had…we had been talking on the trip back from the meeting with Hanji, Erwin, and Pixis, and since we were close to the same size, and speed was my forte, he thought some refinement would help me out.”

                At this, Jean and Sasha awkwardly shifted, not quite sure what to do or say. They remembered hearing the news about Connie’s village, how utterly implausible it had sounded. But Connie had never slowed in his resolve or given any indication that he wanted to talk about it, and had proceeded to throw himself into training with a re-ignited passion.

                Jean finally spoke up, determined to lighten the mood again. “Dang Connie, that’s…that’s pretty impressive to get training from him. But you’re gonna need more than that to beat me!”

                Connie smiled mischievously, this time with his whole face. “You’re on, Kirstein!”

                Sasha excused herself to “help” Historia with the last few preparations for breakfast, as Jean stepped in to lend a hand to Connie to get his harness straps off, both still playfully arguing with each other. He wrinkled his nose as he peeled Connie’s shirt off of him; it was drenched with sweat and mud. He eyed Connie’s bare back, noticing a fresh slew of bruises forming where the straps had dug into his flesh. He had been going all out. Connie grumbled as he brushed another clump of mud off of his arm, startling Jean back into the present as he dodged to avoid the mud ball.

                “Oi, you can strip the rest on your own and head for the showers,” Jean said, stepping back and averting his eyes to give Connie as much privacy as he could.

                Connie chuckled. “Can’t be embarrassed of what I was born with!” With that, he sauntered down the hallway, wearing nothing but his briefs. He waved to Historia as he passed the kitchen, and the sight of him confused the girl so much that Sasha was able to sneak another roll from under her nose.

                Levi poked his head out of the room, and eyed the bundle of mud-caked clothes held gingerly in Jean’s hands with obvious disapproval. “Get that to the washing room Kirstein, and don’t let any of it get on the floor.”

                Jean stared down at the mess of cloth in his hands, and sighed. Quietly grumbling, he trudged down the hallway, taking extra care that none of the mud fell onto the clean floor, successfully making it to the washing room. As he shoved the mess into one of the basins, he stopped.

                On the left sleeve, there were more of those crimson dots. They were tiny, but they looked the same as the one on Connie’s bed. Jean stared at it, before remembering the scrapes and bruises on Connie’s face, chalking it up to some more slight cuts from the training. Dusting his hands off, he set off towards the bathroom to “feed the Titan” before breakfast.

                He could hear Connie humming to himself behind the shower curtain, as Jean entered. Jean gave a slight cough to let Connie know that he was there, and went about relieving himself. As Jean stood up and re-buckled his belt, he heard the water cut off.

Jean exited the stall, and began to wash his hands in the basin nearby. Abruptly, the shower curtain was pulled back, and Connie stepped out, dripping wet, clutching a towel around his waist. Jean couldn’t help but sneak a glance as Connie walked by. He looked a lot better with the layer of grime washed off, but the mosaic of bruises looked even worse.

                “Hey Connie, where’d all those bruises come from? I thought you usually wore the gear tight,” Jean asked.

                Connie halted, one hand on the door. “Eh, Commander recommended that I wore it a bit looser. It may bruise more, but it complements my movement better.”

                Jean nodded understandingly, marveling at the endurance of the smaller boy’s physique. While he was one of the shorter soldiers in the Survey Corps, he was built lean and wiry, a coiled spring of muscle. No wonder Levi saw potential in him.

 Connie pulled his hand back to pull the door open, and that’s when Jean saw it. Just a glimpse before Connie disappeared down the hall, but it was enough.

                There was a bite mark on Connie’s left hand.


	2. Blood and Soap

                The next few days fell into a distinct rhythm. Connie would disappear early in the morning, only to come back with the Commander in time for breakfast. After eating with the rest of the squad, the rest of the day was spent practicing Levi’s new formations until supper.

                But that nagging thought had quietly stayed in the back of Jean’s mind. Late at night, he would see it again before sleep took him, that shiny blistering wound, stretched thin against Connie’s straining hand. After the first encounter in the bathroom, Connie had begun to wear special military gloves, claiming they gave him better traction. But Jean was almost positive that he was hiding the wound with them.

                And so, Jean continued his training. He memorized the formation signals, the movements, and the contingency plans. He did everything that was required of him, along with the rest of the group. But he couldn’t let that injury go. Finally, desperate to uncover more clues, he volunteered to do laundry for the squad.

                He wanted to punch Eren in the throat when he first mentioned it. Seeing that smirk on Eren’s face, the smugness in his eyes; it drove him crazy. But he wanted to check for more blood on Connie’s coat, so he endured the jokes. He couldn’t explain why he wanted-no- _needed_ to know. He just knew that he had to find more.

                He waited until everyone was setting up for dinner to start collecting all of the squad’s clothes. He first grabbed all of the girl’s coats and slacks from their room, before heading down the hall towards the boys room. He pushed forward on the door, and nothing happened. He looked up, and saw that the door was shut; it was normally left propped open. He twisted the doorknob, only to find it locked from the inside. Confused, Jean put his eye up to the keyhole, squinting to try and look into the room, but he couldn’t see anything. Jean sighed, and went down to join the rest for dinner.

                He could see the rest of the squad seated at the table. Levi was drinking tea and examining his charts, allowing Armin to bombard him with countless questions. Sasha was carrying over the tureen of salad, while Historia was slicing bread with Eren. Jean looked around again, he couldn’t see Connie. Unless…

                Jean turned around and slowly made his way back up the stairs, moving as quickly and as quietly as he could. He reached the door, and put his ear up to the door. This time, he could hear something shifting within the darkness of the room. Tentatively, he whispered through the keyhole. “Connie? Are you there?”

                The shifting stopped, and all was silent. Jean waited a beat before he whispered again. “Connie, please open the door, I just want to make sure you’re ok.”

                He heard a small creak, and a deep breath from the room, and then slow footsteps making their way towards the door. A moment later, the latch shifted, and the door slowly opened.

                “Holy shit!” Jean exclaimed as Connie was suddenly illuminated by the light of the corridor. The boy’s face was deathly pale, and he was clutching his hand. There was gauze wrapped around it, but the bindings were loose, and there was blood, so much blood, flowing through the bandages and staining the floor.

                Connie weakly shushed Jean. “Quiet! Please, just…help me get it bandaged!” He begged, stumbling to the left slightly. Jean immediately was at his side, hoisting him up, and half-carrying him down the hall to the washroom. Sasha’s voice shouted from downstairs, “Connie! Jean! Are you guys coming?”

                “We’ll be there in a bit!” Jean shouted, trying to sound calm as Connie stumbled again. “Just got a bit of a stomach bug that’s all!”

                Jean kicked the door of the bathroom open, and set Connie down on the bench. Connie leaned back into the wall, breathing heavily, his eyelids flickering. Jean began to peel the poorly wrapped bandages from the hand, steeling himself from the fresh blood dripping onto his own hand. He removed the last strand, and saw the cause.

                It was another bite mark, but this one was much deeper than the first, and must have hit a vein, as it was still oozing dark rivulets of blood. Jean swore, and grabbed a fresh washcloth from the stand. “Fuck Connie, why were you… _biting_ yourself!” he breathed as he dabbed the wound, raising Connie’s arm above his head to slow the flow of blood.

                Connie groaned at the pain from Jean’s actions, but tears started to form, as an embarrassed flush begin to grow on his cheeks. “I’m- _agh,_ I’m sorry, I  was just…just trying to…”

                “To what?” Jean spat as he began to rewrap the bandage, applying more force to stem the flow of blood. His head was spinning as he worked, half-expecting Levi to come marching through the doors to find them. “And why can’t we get the others to-“

                “Jean PLEASE,” Connie sobbed quietly, his uninjured hand hiding his face as the tears began to fall. “I…was an idiot, allright? I just…ever since my village…”

                Jean looked up, feeling his anger quickly changing to fear and concern. Connie had never spoken about his village since the news of the attack. He had stayed the cheerful happy soldier that everyone knew and loved. Jean cursed his own foolishness, realizing how ignorant it had been to think that Connie had been fine from the incident. “No, Connie…it’s…it’s fine we just need to get this cleaned up and-“

                Connie interrupted him. “I was just so ashamed! God…that’s why…why I’ve been biting myself! At first, it was just to make sure that I-I wasn’t a Titan like the rest of my…my village…but now, it’s the only thing I can do to feel like I’ve atoned for failing them all! To feel anything at all!” Connie broke off in a fit of silent sobbing his whole body heaving from the effort of suppressing the sound. Jean gritted his teeth as he forced his own trembling fingers to finish tying off the bandage.

                “Connie, it’s ok, you’re here, it’s all right. How does your hand feel? Is it feeling better?” Jean spoke softly, doing his best to sound comforting, trying to keep the tremor out of his own voice.

                Connie managed a quick nod. Jean slowly lowered Connie’s newly bandaged arm, and pivoted it gently. “Any pain? Anything at all?”

                Connie slowly shook his head, and gulped back another sob. Jean stared into his eyes, and started when he saw the eyes of Eren staring back at him. They were the eyes of someone who had lost everything they cherished and knew, but still pressed on; regardless of the fear that clawed at their hearts and minds. They were the eyes of someone who had no hope left, but still clutched at the remnants of it, afraid to let go and be lost forever.

                “Oh Connie,” Jean muttered as he wrapped his arms around the boy, gently rocking him back and forth. “It’s ok, let it all out, it’s ok.”

                Connie stiffened as Jean’s arms encircled him, but as Jean gently squeezed, Connie collapsed into Jean’s embrace, muffling his sobs in Jean’s chest, as he gripped the folds of Jean’s shirt. Jean looked up, trying to stop his own tears from falling on Connie’s head, and failing as the first few tears began to slide down his cheek. In that moment, Jean could see it all, everything that Connie had quietly suffered without telling anyone. His village gone, the lies from Reiner and Ymir, the betrayal, and the final revelation…

 A slight creak swung his head back around to see Sasha peeking her head into the room. Her eyes were wide and worried as she stared at Jean. Jean did his best to shake his head at Sasha without alerting Connie. Sasha nodded her head, and slowly withdrew, leaving the two alone again. Connie’s sobs had devolved into muffled whimpering, thoroughly exhausted from the entire ordeal. Jean could do nothing, but continue to gently stroke his head, and whisper calming words to Connie.


	3. Candle-lit Bread

                They stayed there for another hour, just clutching each other and sharing the silence together. Finally, Connie leaned back, slowly rubbing his red-rimmed eyes with his good hand. “ Sorry,” he muttered weakly, his voice cracked from overuse.

                Jean gave him a tired smile, and gently squeezed his arm. “Don’t apologize; you’d do the same for me.”

                He slowly rose to his feet, and extended a hand to pull Connie up, taking care to grasp his uninjured hand. Connie gave a slight grunt, but hoisted himself up to a standing position. Jean took another look at his handiwork. The pressure from the bandage had successfully stemmed the flow of blood. Jean still looped Connie’s arm over his shoulder, and slowly led Connie out of the washroom.

                The house was silent as Jean and Connie shuffled down the hallway. Jean had expected Levi at least to be waiting for an explanation, but all was quiet. Jean turned to head for the stairs, but noticed a candle burning in the living room. He made his way in, and found two make-shift beds set up on the floor, a small tray of bread and a pitcher of milk resting on the table. Jean smiled, silently thanking Sasha for the set-up; the last thing Connie needed tonight was an interrogation.

                Jean lowered Connie onto one of the beds, and pushed the plate of bread towards him. Connie picked up a small piece, and reluctantly took a bite. Jean seated himself on his own bed, and took a piece, his stomach suddenly rumbling. The two boys ate in relative silence, not quite looking at one another, but always aware of the other. Jean took a final swig of milk, before turning to look at Connie. “Do you…want to talk about it?”

He saw Connie’s gaze slightly harden, but then he gave a small sigh and bit off another hunk of his bread. “I…yeah, I guess I need to after what I had to put you through.”

Jean quickly shook his head. “You don’t owe me any explanation; I’m just saying that _if_ you need to talk about it, I’m here.”

Connie looked down, his brow furrowed. “Thank you.”

Jean stayed quiet, eyeing Connie, as the smaller boy tried to piece together what he had to say in the dancing shadows of the candle-lit room. Eventually, Connie began to speak, in a quiet whisper.

“It’s…it’s fucked up, you know? Sometimes I caught myself wishing that my family had been eaten instead of…turned into those things. It would hurt, but there would’ve been real closure. You know ‘cause it’s been happening for years. The Titans eat people, everyone knows it.” He took a moment to regain his composure before plowing on; Jean sat transfixed in his seat.

“But this, knowing that instead of a quick death they were turned into Titans! It’s…it’s unheard of! And we _fought_ those Titans that night! We smashed a cannon into one, cut one’s face and kicked it out of the tower…those were my neighbors! My brother! My sister! My family! And we butchered the lot of them because they would have _killed us._ We did what was natural as soldiers, as humans! But I lie awake at night, and I have to ask the darkness why I’m alive, and my family is gone. It’s not…it’s not fair…” Connie’s voice trailed off, and he hastily wiped a single tear from his cheek.

Jean sat back, pondering Connie’s words. He felt ashamed that he hadn’t taken the initiative to pry deeper to make sure Connie was all right. He couldn’t even imagine seeing his mother, his father, warped and monstrous, the bane of humanities existence.

“That’s why I was biting myself.” Connie whispered, as he raised his head and locked eyes with Jean. “At first I was lying to myself, making sure that I wasn’t secretly a Titan. But from all the shame and guilt…the pain felt _good._ It felt like adequate punishment for living, while my family and village had to endure that transformation, and being pitted against us. In my head, my pain felt trivial to their suffering. And so I…I did it to honor them, in a way. You know?”

Jean shook his head. “You know this isn’t what they would want for you. You know that, right?”

Connie looked away. “I know, I know.”

Jean slowly reached out a hand, and delicately placed it on top of Connie’s bandaged hand. “Promise me you won’t do it again. Do it for the Corps, to your friends, to me, I don’t care. But it isn’t healthy or safe. I care about you…too much to have you do something like this to yourself.”

Connie took a deep shuddering breath. “I promise.”

Jean gave Connie an encouraging smile, and turned to look at the makeshift beds. “You must think I’m pathetic,” Connie suddenly spoke, catching Jean off-guard.

Jean’s head whipped back to Connie. “Why the fuck would you think that?”

Connie squirmed as Jean held his gaze, and tried to look away. In a quick motion, Jean reached out and firmly grasped Connie’s shoulders, forcing the other boy to look into his eyes. Jean could feel his heart beating faster, as he glared at Connie.

“Connie you’re the furthest thing from pathetic. You’re one of the bravest people I know. In our very first battle, _you_ _kicked a Titan in the fucking head to save me._ You didn’t hesitate, because you cared about me, and knew that I needed help.”

Connie strained against Jean’s grip, but Jean refused to let go. “I heard it from Historia, that you were the one that was able to help Armin recollect himself, and defended him from Ymir. And then, you carried him through the FUCKING TITAN-INFESTED CITY IN YOUR ARMS TO SAFETY!”

“Shhhh, you’ll wake everyone up!” Connie whispered frantically.

“I don’t fucking care! I’ll be as loud as I want until you can see for yourself how strong you are as a person! You always make jokes about how ‘stupid’ you are! Connie you always know _exactly_ what to do to connect with people. You know what they need, what they’re going through…damnit Connie can’t you see how much we-I-need you?”

Jean paused, catching his breath. He realized that he was squeezing Connie’s shoulders as hard as he could, and could see Connie wincing in pain. Jean quickly let go, an apology on his lips. “Shit, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…”

“No it’s fine.” Connie massaged his shoulder with his good hand. “I-thank you Jean.”

“You need to realize how much you’re worth Connie. I can’t do that for you, you have to do it yourself.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Both Connie and Jean suddenly yawned simultaneously. Jean felt exhausted. He hadn't realized how much energy he had expended in the past few hours. He could see Connie drooping from fatigue as well. Jean shifted slightly on the mat. “I can stay here with you tonight if you don’t want to go back to the room.”

                Connie nodded silently, but his face looked relieved and thankful. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, taking extra care not to use his injured hand, and slowly worked his way under the covers. Jean stripped off his own shirt, suddenly realizing how drenched the front of it was. He threw one last glance at Connie, before he blew out the candle. Jean started to lie back on his bed when-

                “Jean?” Connie whispered into the darkness, startling Jean.

                “Yeah?”

                “Can you…I don’t know, I…I’m…”

                Jean immediately knew what Connie was trying to get at, and was suddenly grateful that the darkness hid the sudden flush in his cheeks. “Oh, yeah…sure.”

                Jean slowly crawled out of his bed, carefully making his way to Connie’s cot. He shivered as the cold night air rustled over his bare skin, and he thankfully fumbled his way under the covers. Once he was safely under the blankets, he reached out, until his hand brushed Connie’s back. Jean faltered for a moment, before wrapping his arms around Connie again, pulling him close until he felt Connie’s back brush against his chest.

                “I’m sorry,” Connie softly mumbled, but Jean could feel him relaxing against Jean’s embrace.

                “I said it before,” Jean muttered into Connie’s ear, “there’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

                With that, the two boys slowly faded into sleep in each other’s arms, lulled by the wind moaning through the trees, and the warmth of their snuggled bodies.


	4. Finding Your Wings

“Today I want to test your individual skills,” Levi barked, eyeing the members of his squad.

                The Levi Squad was positioned at the cusp of a small glade, but they knew that it was a specially designed obstacle course. Jean gulped, he hated individual exercises.

                “The goal of today is simple,” Levi continued as he eyed the soldiers. “Everything you’ve been taught over the past few weeks will be taken into account. Your goal is to reach the checkpoint as quickly as possible. I’ve taken the liberty of setting up several sized Titan dummies in the forest. If you pass one, I want you to attempt to take a shot at it in one fluid motion. You must not stop to re-aim, if you miss, continue on to the end.”

                Levi pulled out a small clay bowl from his pocket. “There are numbers in this bowl.  You’ll each select one, and that will be the order in which you complete the exercise. When the first person has completed the exercise, I’ll fire a green flare to signify the next person to begin.”

                Mikasa stepped forward, and bluntly plunged her hand into the bowl, retrieving one of the scraps of paper with a **3** scrawled onto it. She made a non-committal grunt, and stepped back. Armin was next; he hesitantly pulled **4** from the bowl. Sasha picked **1** , Historia snagged **5** , and Eren picked up **2**.

                Next was Jean. He eyed the two pieces, and slowly reached in. At the last second, he changed his mind and snagged the other paper, pulling back with **6**. Levi tossed the last paper at Connie, who snatched it out of the air. “That means you’re last Springer.”

                Connie nodded, his eyes set in determination. Jean patted him on the shoulder. “You’ll do fine; you’ve been practicing every day with Levi. It’ll definitely pay-off. And your hand’s completely healed now-“ Jean froze and clamped a hand over his mouth as Armin and Historia looked their way curiously.

                Jean blushed with embarrassment. “Ugh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-“

                Connie smiled at him. “It’s okay. Really, it is.”

               Jean forced a smile, as Levi motioned for Sasha to begin, shooting off into the trees. The rest of the soldiers waited, except for Eren, who waited tentatively for the signal. The sun was bright and cheery; not a single cloud in the sky. Jean breathed a sigh of relief as Historia and Armin begin to discuss the exercise, and didn’t try to pry about Jean’s slip about Connie’s hand.

No one else from the squad knew the real reason why Jean and Connie had been in the bathroom that night. Jean had made up an excuse of Connie accidentally cutting himself on the latch, and that had been enough for most of them. Sasha suspected that there was more to it, but had been prudent enough to not pry. Jean was thankful of how tactful the rest of the squad had been around Connie for the past few weeks. And now, hopefully, Connie would have a chance to show his hard work.

 About 15 minutes later, there was a slight pop, as a column of green smoke shot up in the distance. With a determined yelp, Eren launched himself into the trees.

                For Jean, the minutes seemed to stretch on for hours. Armin and Historia were whispering among themselves looking worried. “So is 15 minutes a pretty good time?” Armin asked nervously, as he eyed Mikasa standing coolly at the line.

                Historia shook her head. “No idea, the smoke was pretty far away, so maybe…” She trailed off as the second emerald flare shot into the sky. Without a word, Mikasa was gone, only a slight rustle of the trees an indication that she had just flown through them.

                Jean whistled. “Man, Eren did it in like 12 minutes, so with Mikasa it’ll be like…8?”

                The rest of the soldiers groaned, except for Connie, who kept watching the trees, his face still dead-set.

                Sure enough, after less than 10 minutes, the third flare was fired, and Armin hastily leapt into action. In his hurry, he accidentally looped the first branch, getting caught in a clump of bushes before disengaging it and leaping into the forest, his face a vibrant shade of red even from a distance. Historia gave a little pitied moan, “Oh poor guy, maybe we could pretend we didn’t see it.”

                “He’ll be fine,” Jean said evenly, “he just always takes a little time to get into the motion of it. After the first bit, he’s fine.”

                Historia took her place, as Jean and Connie sat in silence, staring at the sky, waiting for the signal. After another 15 minutes, The signal fired, and Historia spun into the woods, her hair swirling in all directions. Jean laughed, “Even on the gear, she looks like an angel, “he mused.

                Jean took his place, but shot another look back at Connie. He hadn’t seen Connie look so focused before. “Connie, you sure you’re all good?” Jean asked hesitantly.

                Connie met his gaze, and smiled. “I’m better than good. I’m ready to do this; and really, it’s all thanks to you.”

                Jean feigned a quick glance at the sky to break eye-contact with Connie, feeling visibly embarrassed, but also light-headed from the thanks. “You’ve come into your own the past few weeks. That’s all you.”

                “But you’re the one who pulled me out of my slump. Jean, if you hadn’t found me that night…just…thank you. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.” Connie smiled warmly, his eyes slightly watery as he gazed at Jean.

                Jean could feel the heat on his own cheeks, and the pounding of his heart. He didn’t know what to do, and almost laughed out-loud in relief when the flare interrupted the silence. He shot a grateful glance at Connie, trying to send him all of his jumbled up feelings in one smile, before leaping into the forest.

 

 

                The trees blurred by him as he swung through the leafy branches, forcing himself to concentrate on the task at hand. Out of the corner of his eye, he immediately spotted one of the Titan dummy contraptions leering out behind a tree. It had several cut marks on them from the other soldiers. Smoothly, Jean angled his next cord, and sailed towards the nape of the dummy’s neck. He tightened the grip on his swords, before bringing them together in a swirling arc of steel. The cut was deep, and precise; the perfect kill. Jean couldn’t help but grin as he sailed onward past the dead dummy deeper into the forest.

                For the most part, Jean felt like he had a great run of the course. He missed one dummy, and almost turned back, before remembering Levi’s instruction. He turned back, grumbling to himself at his mistake. But suddenly he burst through a canopy of leaves and he could see the end in sight, the rest of the squad was gathered at a small alcove a few meters ahead of him surrounded by several flag posts. He was almost-

                Jean heard a deafening crunch, as a huge suspended log came swinging down from the trees above, directly into his path. Jean’s head screamed at him to move, and at the last moment he jerked out of the way, dodging the log by a few inches, but gashing his shoulder open on a nearby branch. Blood streaming from his side, Jean winced, but forced himself to redirect his line, coming to a halt in front of Commander Levi. Levi clicked the watch, and fired another green flare. “10:32, excellent work Kirstein, except for that last bit.”

                Jean forced a salute, despite the sharp pain in his shoulder, and then collapsed onto the ground, breathing heavily from the ordeal. Levi was gone in a flash of green, already assisting the other examiners in setting up the log for Connie’s arrival. Historia hobbled forward with a medical kit. “Let me take a look at that, Jean.”

                Jean slipped his jacket off, and winced as the girl began to dab ointment on the cut. He looked down, and noticed a deep bruise forming on Historia’s ankle. “Did the tree do that to you?”

                Historia grimaced darkly. “It just brushed me, but it flung me off course into another tree, and I landed hard. It cost me about 45 seconds. You had a good time though, only Mikasa’s beaten you.”

                Jean took a moment to gaze at the other soldiers. Mikasa didn’t have a scratch on her, looking unruffled as always. Sasha had a few scrapes along her face, but looked pretty happy. Eren and Armin looked miserable; Armin’s face was puffy and swollen as if the log had smacked him in the face, and Eren’s arm was steaming, as if he had been regenerating-

                “Did the log take your _arm_ off Jaeger?” Jean asked, an incredulous grin playing on his lips.

                Eren tried to flip Jean off; realizing his mistake half-way through the motion as he waved his fleshy stump at Jean, he quickly turned away in an embarrassed huff. Jean chuckled, and looked to see a small chalkboard with the times of each member haphazardly scrawled on the side. He couldn’t help but grin in satisfaction at his score.

**Sasha Braus: 14:32-5th**

**Eren Jaeger: 11:27-3rd**

**Mikasa Ackerman: 9:53-1st**

**Armin Arlert: 15:56-6th**

**Historia Reiss: 12:02-4th**

**Jean Kirstein: 10:32-2nd**

**Connie Springer:**

                The only person’s score left blank was Connie. Jean turned his attention to the edge of the forest. Somewhere in the middle of that forest, Connie was flying through the air towards them. A loud clicked announced that the trap log was securely in place, hidden from view at the cusp of the glade. Levi landed a moment later, and joined Jean in surveying the area. Only 5 minutes had passed since the flare had been fired; Jean started running numbers in his head. Connie would need to make it in about another 5-6 minutes if he wanted to get a good score. But that log…

                “What do you think his time will be?” Jean asked to no one in particular, as another minute ticked by.

                Armin squinted through puffy eyelids. “Personally, I’m hoping he does a little worse than me. Not that I want him to get decked in the face with a log, but…” he trailed off and raised his head, as a soft zipping sound echoed in the distance.

                Jean cocked his ear, his heart in his chest. Yes, that was undeniably the sound of the 3DM gear fast approaching. But it wasn’t even 7 minutes in! Eren heard the sound too, and propped himself up. “No fucking way…”

                They could all hear it now, the steady zip of the lines, the blast of steam, he was _close._ Even Mikasa looked amazed as the sounds grew louder and louder. Suddenly, Connie burst from the nearby branches, sailing like a hawk through the air; one of his swords had broken, but he still had the hilt in his hand. The rest of the soldiers gasped; he had cleared the forest in that amount of time!

Jean knew what was coming, but couldn’t help but watch in horror as Levi suddenly pulled the switch, the log swinging down like a Titan fist, straight towards Connie. Jean’s eyes widened as he saw Connie’s head rise, and notice the gigantic log on a collision course with the tiny soldier.

                _Move aside!_ Jean screamed internally, but he couldn’t make a sound, save for a pitiful squeak as the log inched closer towards the boy.

                But Connie didn’t fire another wire. Instead, in one fluid motion, he locked the sword hilt into place, and swiped a second sword from its case. He began to spin, his arms outstretched as he gave himself an extra burst of gas. The momentum sent him into a spinning frenzy, his body moving so fast that he looked like a maddened dervish. Sunlight sparkled off of the whirling blades, creating a kaleidoscope of sunspots as he surged toward the log.  With one last tiny puff of gas to angle him to the side, Connie collided with the side of the log.

But instead of coming to sickening halt, Connie’s swirling blades melted through the side of the log as he shot past it, only inches from the rough wood. His blades sang as they flowed through the entire length of the log. It was finished in a matter of seconds. Connie sailed past the trap, a section of the log the exact size of Connie falling delicately from the massive wooden ram. A moment later, he righted  himself from the spin, somersaulted through the air, and landed effortlessly in front of Levi, saluting the Commander.

                The soldiers had no words. Jean had no words. That had been Connie, moving through the air so assuredly, perfectly maneuvering around the trap…and Jean suddenly felt something that he had never felt before.

                “7:21. Congratulations Springer, you’ve not only come in first in today’s exercise, but you completed the course 5 seconds faster than my own best time.” Levi was attempting to stay cold and detached, but he couldn’t keep a small satisfied smile off of his face. “I knew you had it in you.”

                The 104th broke into applause. Armin and Historia were gleefully shrieking with amazement, Mikasa was actually smiling broadly as she applauded, while Sasha and Eren were beside themselves, mouths agape in complete shock. Connie faltered slightly at the sound; he had never come in first in any exercise before, let alone beating Commander Levi. But before he could say anything, Jean had leapt at him, catching him around the waist despite his hurt shoulder, and planted a fervent kiss on his lips.

                Connie didn’t even hesitate before he pushed back into the kiss. He roughly ran his hands through Jean’s hair, allowing Jean to pick him up and squeeze him around the waist, as the heat of their breath mixed. No words were said, but both soldiers knew what the other was trying to say.


	5. Clutches and Climax

“I can honestly say, I don’t think anyone expected that,” Jean chuckled as he lay back on Connie’s chest, the two of them watching the sun dip below the horizon from the rafters of the barn.

 

Jean could still see Eren’s face, contorted in complete confusion when Jean had kissed Connie. Historia and Mikasa were much more mature about it, while Armin looked visibly shocked and delighted, and Sasha pounded the air shrieking “I KNEW IT!” while Levi surveyed the entire group, growing increasingly tired with their shenanigans.

 

“Hmm,” Connie mused playfully breaking Jean out of his reverie, “I was pretty awesome.”

 

Jean lightly smacked Connie’s leg with his hand. “You know what I mean, dummy! You were amazing! You beat Mikasa and Levi! But no one-”

 

“No one expected the two of us,” Connie finished Jean’s sentence, running a hand softly through Jean’s tousled hair.

 

Jean looked up and met Connie’s eyes, unable to keep the grin off his face. He reached a hand up to lightly caress Connie’s face; he loved the feel of Connie’s skin. “I’m proud of you Connie. Not just for today, but for the past few weeks. You’ve come back each morning exhausted to the point of defeat, but you powered through and still performed all of the other exercises and routines with us! You’re really...really an inspiration to us all...and me.”

 

Connie leaned forward, and lightly kissed the bridge of Jean’s nose. “I had help from an amazingly supportive guy you might know,” he teased.

 

The two boys were silent for a while, watching the colors of the sky gradually shift from rose to purple, and slowly begin to change to dark. Connie sighed wistfully. “You know, me and my brother Martin would usually watch sunsets together. We were usually messing around or wrestling outside before dinner, and we’d stop long enough to watch it go down. It was...always our thing that we did, you know?”

 

Jean stared at Connie’s face, trying to see what reaction Connie would give from bringing up such a memory. But after a moment, he shifted his attention back to Jean. “It was always fun, I might be small, but my brother was smaller so I could get away with all kinds of moves.”

 

Jean smiled teasingly. “Oh really? So you’d consider yourself some kind of wrestling prodigy?”

 

Connie raised his head a little higher.“Well I don’t wanna brag, but-”

 

Jean took that moment to suddenly leap up and tackle Connie to the hay-strewn floor, piles of straw exploding into the air upon impact. But true to his word Connie angled his body during the fall so Jean ended up flipping over him and landing on his back. Smarting from the pain, Jean began to rise, but was halted as Connie came up from the side, and pushed him over so his chest was brushing the floor. Before Jean could move, Connie squatted down, sitting on the lower back of the other boy, pinning him to the ground.

 

“Fuck...wha?” Jean spluttered with a mouthful of straw as he attempted to move out from under Connie.

 

“I did warn you, you know,” Connie laughed from above Jean.

 

“Once I get up I’m gonna-” Jean began as he began to reach up with his arm to make a grab at Connie’s face.

 

To Jean’s surprise, Connie grabbed his arm, and quickly swung it over his leg, locking it behind his thigh. He then reached down, and grabbed Jean’s other arm, repeating the process. Jean strained to move, but both of his arms were trapped behind Connie’s legs.

 

“It’s a nice one, right?” Connie snickered.

 

“Gah, all right, I get it!” Jean groaned, his voice muffled from the dirt on the floor; annoyed at being put into such a submissive move.

 

“Are you kidding? I haven’t even started it! This is just the set-up!”

 

Connie reached down, gripping Jean’s shoulders with both hands. With a grunt, Connie pulled back, slowly lifting Jean’s head and shoulders from the ground until he found himself in a contorted position. His arms now almost touched the ground, but they were completely locked behind Connie’s thighs with his head and chest suspended above the ground. Connie let out an exhausted sigh. “Damn, it’s a lot harder to get you into the move then my brother.”

 

Jean wanted to yell at him, but he had to admit it was a good move; he was helpless. He tried to kick out with his legs, but Connie was seated right on the center of his back, meaning that his kicks were feeble and unable to push him out of the hold. Jean groaned again, feeling a slight twinge in his back from the strain on his back as his fingers scrabbled uselessly in the dust.

 

“Yeah, it starts to hurt pretty quick,” Connie continued conversationally. “It also means I can do THIS.”

 

Suddenly, Connie let his hands drop down to Jean’s chest, and instead of pulling on his shoulders to add more strain to the hold, he took two deep handfuls of Jean’s tight pecs, and squeezed. Jean yelped, more from surprise than the pain, but there was instantly something about it that he liked. The feeling of helplessness, and this sudden aggressiveness of Connie...Jean suddenly realized that he was starting to sport a boner.

 

Connie squeezed harder  this time, and suddenly Jean could feel each finger of Connie’s digging into his flesh, and his mind went blank. A deep guttural moan escaped from Jean’s lips.

 

After a moment, Connie released his hold on Jean’s chest, and quickly stood up, allowing Jean’s arms to fall back down, freeing him from the submission hold. Jean lay there for a moment, breathless, and suddenly desperate for those hands, that touch…

 

Jean turned back onto his side, and saw Connie standing above him, hands trying to cover the obvious bulge in his shorts, his face red with horror. “Shit, I’m sorry! When you moaned like that it...it sounded really hot and…”

 

Jean abruptly reached up and forcefully grabbed Connie’s head, pulling it down, and firmly kissed him. Connie started in surprise, but quickly lost himself in the ecstasy, surrendering himself to the kiss. Jean pushed his tongue deeper into Connie’s mouth, exploring every nook and cranny, as he felt the other boys hands sliding down to his chest, and distractedly attempted to unbutton Jean’s shirt. After a few fumbling tries, Jean broke free from the kiss long enough to bring  his own hand down and hurriedly ripped open his shirt, buttons spilling in all directions.

 

Connie’s hand quickly pushed past the shirt, and lightly skimmed Jean’s chest. Jean gave a soft moan at the familiar touch, desperate for more. He locked eyes briefly with Connie, who had an excited but cautious look on his face, as if silently asking permission. Jean wordlessly nodded, and quickly dove in for another kiss, enveloping Connies tongue with his own. Hesitantly while making small noises of pleasure from the kiss, Connie began to slowly run his hands up and down Jean’s well-defined chest. His hand was cool to the touch against Jean's bare skin, and every movement lit Jean’s senses ablaze. He could feel as the hand slowly travelled over each bump, each indentation, each blemish, setting off a chain reaction of sexual desire in the boy. Jean broke away from the kiss, breathless, as he felt his member slowly hardening below.

 

Connie lightly brushed Jean’s right nipple, sending another shockwave through Jean, who fell back, reeling from the touch. Connie pushed forward, slowly circling the sensitive nub, gently pinching the soft pink flesh between his fingers. Jean groaned again, much louder this time, as he forced his own hands up the back of Connie’s shirt. He could feel the taut muscles shudder at the touch, and could hear Connie gasping as he lightly squeezed his sides. “God…” Connie breathed, as he bent down and laid several kisses on Jean’s hard stomach.

 

Jean was paralyzed. The slight pressure of Connie’s lips trailing down his sleek stomach, his own passionate breaths and moans mixing with Connie’s in the dark barn; all he could was lie there as Connie descended lower and lower, and hesitated as he stumbled upon Jean’s trousers. He looked again to Jean, who managed another nod. Connie hastily undid the belt, pushing his pants down and finally let Jean's cock fall free from his briefs.. It lay there, semi-erect as Connie stared at it. Connie slowly reached out... and poked it curiously with his finger. Jean stared at him in disbelief. After a brief moment, Connie whispered hesitantly.  “I...I don’t know what to do, I’ve never done this before,” he stammered, adding an extra tinge of red to his cheeks.

 

Jean was about to admonish the boy, before he realized that he was just as clueless. He slowly raised himself up and smiled sheepishly. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

 

The two boys looked at one another for a beat, before breaking into peals of laughter. All of the anxiety and terror of trying to please the other was gone in an instant of blissful hilarity at the situation. The next few minutes was nothing but laughter, as Jean and Connie let all of their pent up feelings out, as they grasped at each other, hardly able to breathe.

 

After a while, their laughter slowly died down. Connie again, stared at Jean's member, rubbing his sleeve against his forehead. Jean shifted, letting his ripped shirt slip all the way off of him, smiling coyly at Connie.. “Why don’t we even the playing field first before we do anything else?”

 

Before Connie could protest, Jean had grabbed the bottom of Connie’s shirt, and swiftly pulled it up and over his head. Jean threw the rumpled shirt to the side, taking in the smaller boys physique. The bruises from weeks ago had subsided, and the time spent practicing in the sun all day had darkened his skin considerably. Jean wiped a bead of drool from his mouth at the sight.

 

He pulled Connie forward, and began to suck on the boys chest, slightly adding more suction as he began pulling Connie’s trousers down. Connie admittedly tried to assist, but whatever Jean was doing was working, as Connie spasmed and could do little more than whimper with pleasure as he leaned into Jean. Jean moved to a different section of Connie’s chest, and began again, lightly sucking on the skin while teasing it with his tongue.

 

As he worked, Jean inhaled that rich heady scent of testosterone, sweat, and excitement. He breathed deeply, enjoying the fullness of the odor, as he continued to ply Connie’s chest with his tongue, jabbing and sliding lower down his body.

 

Connie began to lightly lick the nape of Jean’s neck, lapping up the salty beads of sweat that accumulated there as his hands returned to Jean’s chest, slightly pinching and prodding the nipples simultaneously. It took every bit of self-control to not surrender altogether, but Jean continued down Connie’s stomach until he reached Connie's underpants.

 

Jean quickly pulled down Connie’s briefs to reveal his own hardening member. A slight bead of precum was oozing from the top, and the sight of it drove Jean mad. He quickly pushed Connie down onto the floor, and gently grasped the throbbing shaft, slightly pumping it up and down. Connie moaned, his hands gripping the floorboard as Jean pumped it slowly in his hand. After a few minutes of slow but steady thrusts, Connie's shaft was ready, and Jean hesitatnly opened his mouth, welcome the size into his mouth.

 

It was warm and slick from the sweat and precum, as Jean allowed his tongue to caress the throbbing mass. Back and forth, he let Connie’s cock slide in and out of his mouth. Jean looked up to see Connie gritting his teeth, his eyes clamped shut, his hands dancing on the straw as Jean continued. Jean wanted nothing more than to please Connie as much as he possibly could. So he took it deeper and deeper, loving the feeling of the slick flesh moving back and forth so easily in his mouth-

 

Connie gasped as a sudden wave of sticky heat erupted inside Jean’s mouth. Jean quickly pulled his head back, coughing and spluttering at the salty cloying taste. He finally swallowed, feeling a sizeable gob of cum make it’s way down his throat and sighed. Connie was looking at him timidly, an apologetic smile on his face. “I...I came…”

 

“With no warning. Though I’m not really surprised,” Jean mumbled as he spat, trying to rid his tongue of the unknown flavor. “It was your first time after all.”

 

Connie gazed up at the now pitch-black sky. “I’ve...never felt anything like that before. I never thought someone could make me feel like that. Hell, I didn’t know that I could feel like that!”

 

Jean gave a small grin. “Hmm, I was pretty awesome.”

 

Connie let his gaze fall down to Jean, his eyes narrowing. “Yeah you were; now it’s your turn.”

 

Connie rallied himself, and slowly rose to his knees, and reached out to grasp Jean’s cock, that was visibly drenched with his own precum and sweat.. He slowly encircled Jean’s member, and teased the boy with several small licks down the length of the shaft. Jean whimpered, unable to stand the suspense. But Connie was using a different method then Jean. Slowly, Connie lightly stretched and pulled at Jean's cock, letting the sensation of anticipation build up. After a minute or so, Jean couldn't stop himself from whining, "Connie please..."

Connie finally relented, and began to bob up and down, enveloping Jean’s growing erection with his mouth. His teeth ever so gently grazed the flesh, making Jean see fireworks in his head. Connie slowly fell into a steady rhythym, letting Jean slowly build toward the climax. But Jean wanted more. He firmly grabbed the back of Connie’s head, forcing him to take his cock deeper into his mouth. Connie struggled briefly at the mass, before opening his throat, letting the full size of Jean’s shaft fit comfortably in his mouth.

 

Jean could feel a surging torrent trying to break it’s way through as Connie continued to bob back and forth, guided by Jean’s strong hands. He tried to fight it, but the methodical slurps from Connie and the overload of sensation overwhelmed him. Jean let out a moan as he came, feeling the glorious surge or release.

 

Unlike Jean, Connie was prepared, and managed to swallow it all without coughing or gagging, wiping his mouth with his hand once Jean had finished. Jean lay panting from exhaustion, but desperate to show his thanks to Connie. Slowly, he raised his head, and pulled Connie closer to him. The two kissed, vestiges of their respective climaxes mixing with the saliva from their over-exerted mouths.

 

“That...was...AMAZING,” Connie wheezed at last, as he lay his head down on Jean’s naked chest.

 

Jean let out a deep breath, and grinned at Connie. “It really was.”

 

“And all ‘cause I kicked your ass when you tackled me.”

 

Jean’s eyes glinted in the moonlight as he ran his hand through Connie’s short gray hair, now slicked with sweat and dust. “I guess we’ll have to have a rematch later.”

 

Connie gave a content smile, reaching up to brush Jean’s face, in an extremely similar motion to Jean earlier in the evening. “I love you, you know.”

 

Jean grasped Connie’s hand, tightening his grip as he smiled down at the boy. “I love you too.”

  
  



End file.
